Living in the Present

we cant live a live looking back into the past because we cant change it because it already happened.

we cant live in the future because the future because the future is always unpredictable.

thats why we live in the present. thats why wat we do now counts!

Every Step Counts

Slowly walking home today, I thought the world was slow and hard. I look at school and I see only test and grades. I see my future which only has college applications. What's the point? Where did this road lead to? Why is there so many negatives? Why can't we just live a easy life?

I kept walking down the road. Before I know it I'm already half-way. I saw people passing by, the sounds of cars rushing on the roads, everyone was busy to go somewhere. Everybody had this set destination. People wanted to go home. Others wanted to go grad a snack at 7-11. Children left the school yards to go to tutor. There seems there is destination in life. It was not just walking roads for no reason. We walk because we want to get somewhere.

When I got to my doorstep, I felt good because I'm finally home. I'm finally at home sweet home. Every small step I took got me back home. I wasn't able to fly home without any effort, or I wasn't able to suddenly appear home. I had to take small steps to get to this destination. If I were to stop and complain about how the temperature was so hot, or why is walking so tiring, I would have gotten no where. I would of stood there in complaint about everything. I chose to take small steps, because every step counted. I wasn't walking backwards, nor stopping, I continued to move on to my destination. I kept walking. Even thought the steps might have been small and slow but I still made progress. Life is like that. If we stop and just complain about our surroundings we aren't changing anything. One step at a time, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, we slowly make it to our goal. We finally make it because each step counted. Each step slowly led up to the destination.

Life might be harsh in different ways but every step counts. Only these steps we take can lead to where we are going.

The Journey (Mary Oliver)

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

THE CHEMISTRY IN LIFE

Opposite charge attraction

it works

its in the fundmentals of life

and element can stand alone

but its nto complete

only when it bonds

its complete

Leaping to the Other Side

"only by trying to take a bigger leap... u'll make it to the other side."

I wrote this quote after reflecting over "me" in dance. As a "guy" dancer within the grade, dancing modern has always been a great leap for me. Usually I'm in a constant tug a war between fears and reality. Many times I would back down. Was I not good enough? Did I make the team only because I was a guy? Was my performance well prepared? Maybe the teachers are just trying to make me feel better by commenting me.

These fears come when tryouts appear in front of me. Should I take the risk and advance or should I stay silent and walk away. Chances are things that posses question marks. As its future is blurry and hard to see. The feeling of uncertainty and having qualms between each chance makes me draw back. However if the only thing you can do is wait, chances would only slip by. I learned that chances are there for you to grasp by yourself. When given we must be able to take the measures to hold on to this chance. I can't change the past and can't predict the future, but there is one thing I can do embrace the present. As I live in a life of present, chances are there. If let go it will turn into the past. To wish next time I have a better chance in the future. Sometimes making that additional leap over the mountain is necessary. Because if we don't take the risk the only thing we can do is stand on the other side and wait.

Leaping takes courage and a little luck. Really remember having to go over Dance Production tryouts. For me I thought it was a big farce. I didn't know that I was going to take the tryout. I was late for the tryouts. And I was wearing jeans (lol hahhaha) totally unstretchable. I totally died during warm-up. Thought Mrs. Flemming was torturing me trying to make me touch my toes, and pointing my feet. Partnering was off for me, really awkward. Couldn't do the lift at first, too weak or just scared. Solos...don't want to talk about it. Kept looking at others, didn't even know what I was doing. However I thought the teachers and my friends gave me a lot of support. Henry was always there encouraging me in the tryouts. Keresa and Sarah Y. really helped by saying "good job" every now and then. Mrs. Quek telling me to enter the tryouts to have fun. Chris lending me dance pants so I was able to be more flexible in. Thankkkks a lot. I'm really grateful for the support, because this gave me the courage to continue. I had a little luck and made main cast, Dracula's friend. And that's how my modern dancing fell into my life. But if that day I quit after the first day of the tryouts or I waited it out till next year. Precious time would be wasted or maybe I wouldn't have ever danced modern. The leap itself was horrifying but I did make it to the other side.

Leaping to the other side, you'll never know what might happen...